Daily Life #1: Bitches Better Step Off

never related to anything so hard

I had debated whether or not anyone would want to read about my daily life. But because I’m very self-important, I decided that yes, you guys would love to know the juicy gossip going down because I’m messy like that. No excuses. I just like to hear myself talk and subsequently read my own writing. I’m so humble. I mean, I’m practically Mother Theresa.

Recently, I’ve been settling into the happy life of a monogamous relationship. You know, the usual. I’m having meltdowns over minor infractions and thirsting over my morning & nightly phone-calls because yes, we are long-distance. Not just a few hours. Oh no. There’s a whole continent and the pacific ocean between us. It’s been great! HA. Ha. Ha. ha… No, really, I’m actually extremely happy and for a jaded person like me, it’s like I’ve found the land of unicorns farting cotton candy.

But there’s a small little rain cloud hanging over the picture of happiness. Who are all of these girls coming after my man? Of course, since I’m that person who lives for drama (including my own), I’m riding this roller coaster and screaming all the way down.

30% intentional, 70% unintentional in some cases

I’m not going to go into detail on all of them, as two of them haven’t directly wronged me aside from having feelings which they are more than entitled to. I get it. It sucks when the person you like ends up dating someone else. I mean, I’ve never had that problem, but I’m doing this thing of “trying to be a good person” and relating to human emotion. But, girls (and guys. I’m all about equality in this), we need to have a talk about appropriate behavior when someone you like gets into a relationship on the do’s and don’ts. Take notes. Clearly I give the best advice. That’s just who I am.

DO:

  • Allow yourself to feel your emotion. Be sad, be upset, get it out of your system.
  • If you were flirting previously, feel free to have a mini blow-up and then leave it.
  • On that note, totally shit-talk with your friends about how you’re so much better than the new person and you can’t understand it. It’s a realistic emotion. Girl, get petty. Just don’t show your ass to him.
  • Take a break. Don’t talk to said person for a bit until you’re sure you can be friends with them IF you still want to be friends with them. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
  • If you are an ex with lingering emotions, don’t reach out to your old flame. Seriously.
  • Delete old pictures of them, or at least make them private or hide them from others and yourself until you can look at them without feeling anything.

DON’T:

  • Leave a passive-aggressive Facebook comment on the new relationship status. You run the risk of your old flame’s friends lambasting you.
  • Continue to flirt. Don’t ask to touch on the person you were interested in, leave flirty comments, or otherwise engage in any behavior that could be seen as holding onto false hope. Just don’t. It’s not wanted and just makes everyone uncomfortable.
  • Knowing that your ex has moved on, don’t decide to say you still have feelings for them. Especially on Valentine’s Day.
  • If you know that you are the crazy ex, don’t try to act cute and message them something flirty. Desperation is not a good look on anyone.
  • Make sexual remarks and then laugh about them being “just a joke.” We all know the truth.
  • Try to remain friends if you can’t separate emotion. Some people can, some people can’t. Some people need time. You probably need time at the very least. I cannot stress this enough.

i’m one inappropriate comment close to losing my shit. don’t try me.

I say this as someone who has successfully remained friends with exes before. Getting broken up with or having to do the breaking up with someone because it’s not working out isn’t easy. Seeing that person move on, especially if they do before you, can be hard no matter if it ended badly or not. But a friendship can be rekindled only if and when you can genuinely be happy for them and wish them the best, not being nice out of obligation and certainly not out of false hope. Do yourself a favor and don’t seek them out if you can’t follow this basic rule.

Now, I know I’m hypocritical. I’ve been known to keep tabs on exes just to see where their lives are, compare “who’s doing better.” At least, to the ones I don’t have a friendship with. Come on, we’re all a bit petty like that. And it sucks to realize that you’re the one who’s life is a dumpster fire. So, you know, maybe try not to do it too often? You need to realize your ex is moving on and is slipping out of your grasp and being happy. Move on and be happy for yourself.

And if you can’t, that’s what your friends are for. Don’t drag the other party into your mess. Unless they cheated. Then all bets are off.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES?

Have you ever been in this situation before? was it hard for you to let go of your past relationship or crush? have you had people try to move in on your S.O. after announcing you’re in a relationship? LET ME KNOW! (BUT BE NICE. I’M A SENSITIVE SOUL)!
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2 thoughts on “Daily Life #1: Bitches Better Step Off

  1. Mari says:

    I live for this blog 😁 again, applause for being the person to spit truth and be totally non-filtered and unapologetic. We need the rest of the world to get on this train!

    • Candy Kiss (Jules) says:

      Ha HA! Thank you! There’s no reason to be apologetic imo. Say what you mean. You can be tactful about it (I’m not always, lbr), but hiding the truth is more harmful than calling people out on their bs.

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